10 Things-Everything Rise and Falls

For years I followed the quote of "Everything rises and falls on Leadership" as a principle to live by. Basically, what this statement is saying is that everything your organization does is a reflection of your leadership. I still feel this statement is true, but after spending time with my pastor about a year ago as he was talking to college students at Southwestern about church planting, I have modified it just a bit. Now I believe that "everything rises and falls on relationships." John Maxwell reminded us many years ago, that if you don't have any one following you, you aren't leading, you are only taking a walk. Leadership ultimately comes down to influence and your influence is relying on your ability to build relationships with those you are tasked with leading.

For some, forming relationships comes easy. They are gifted with the ability to establish bonds with people rapidly. For others this process is more like a "root canal." It is awkward and sometimes painful, but it is necessary if we are going to establish a healthy relationship with those we lead. Here are 3 hints for forming relationships with your team:

1. Learn about who they are outside of church. What are their hobbies and interests? What is their family like? Where are they from? (When you do this, find some way of recording this data, because if you are like me, you will not be able to keep up with all the info you get).

2. Spend time with the team. This is essential if you are a new leader coming in, but those of us who have been around for a while can't forget it either. When I first got to Frisco, I spent time with the team in place to allow them a chance to get to know me and give me a chance to get to know them. This has been crucial to the long term growth of our ministry and our team.

3. Listen to them. Your people don't necessarily need you to use every idea that they send your way, but they do need you to be open and receptive. They are usually the ones in the "trenches" doing the work. They have a first hand knowledge of the challenges that need to be addressed. They might be able to provide some valuable insight to finding the solution.

If you will value the people you lead and your relationships with them, you will get the buy-in you need to make the changes necessary for your ministry to go to a new level.

Random Thoughts...

As I sit here watching the blue par steadily move across the screen in Final Cut Pro as it renders video and listening to the rain pound against the window of my office, my mind begins to wander a bit (it is not like I can do much as I wait for this video to render).

A few things I have been thinking about lately:

1. My little girl just lost her first tooth. Ouch, I guess she really is growing up no matter how hard I try to keep it from happening. She is in Kindergarten too.

2. This could be a really rough year for my Steelers. With Big Ben out for the first 4 games, it could make for a long season listening to the Steeler haters talking all their trash.

3. I love teams, I think that a good team of people will out shine the "one man" show any day of the week. Not even the greatest players in the world can compete alone. Teams are vital.

4. Friendships are an important thing to have. I should do more to develop solid friendships than I do.

5. I am blessed with the most amazing woman for a wife. I have had to have the kids a lot lately because she has been working and doing stuff with the church. I don't know how she manages all that she does, and still keeps her sanity. She is unbelievable.

6. Waiting on God's timing is hard for me. I think that is what God has been trying to teach me lately and I am obviously not a very good student.

7. Trusting God is getting easier and harder at the same time. Not sure if that makes sense. I feel like it is getting easier and easier for me to trust God with some things, but more and more difficult to trust him in other areas.

Got to go, video is done rendering, back to my editing!

10 Things-Average is Easy

After 10 years of professional ministry I can honestly say that I know how to do a kids church service. I have written my own lessons for more than 500 kids church services and I know what works and what doesn't. That is unfortunately not such a good thing. You see it has become very easy to "wing it". I have learned over the last few years that "Excellence is hard and Average is Easy". To often in ministry I think we do things out of habit or tradition. For experienced kids pastors it is very easy to look at our services and say they are "good enough" even when we know we can do better. I really don't want to have average though. Maybe it is the competitive strength in me (see Now Discover Your Strengths), but I want to be the best. It is that way in pretty much everything I do, I can't help it. That is the way God wired me, and I think it is the way that He wired every single leader I know. Excellence isn't easy though, in fact most of the time it is hard. When I am writing and creating a kids church service, it is easy for me to throw something together in about 2 hours or so. But to make it great, to make it more than average, I have to commit huge chunks of time to writing, prayer, and study. Isn't that what the kids and God deserve though? My absolute best. I don't ever want to settle for average, I want to always push through and go for excellence so that I can be the best for God.

10 Things-Someone will always Feel Cheated

Ministry can sometimes be a "break-neck" speeds. It seems that there are times when I can physically not get everything done that needs to get done in the time that I have. This can lead to a couple of different scenarios playing out.

Scenario #1- Because there is so much work to be done, I begin working 85-100 hour work weeks to accomplish everything that needs to be done. This will allow me to accomplish most of my tasks, but there will inevitably still be things that do not get done.

Scenario #2- Because there is so much work to be done, I work as hard as I possibly can for a reasonable amount of time each day, and when that time is up, I go home. This will allow me to accomplish most of my tasks, but there will inevitably still be things that do not get done.

Let's face it, if we are doing ministry the right way, more often than not there will always be items left on our to do lists that we never make it to. You can work yourself to exhaustion, and though you might accomplish everything today, you will not have the energy needed to accomplish tomorrow's tasks. I read somewhere that the most productive week of almost every employees year is the week that is right before they leave for vacation. At first, this didn't make sense to me, but then I paid very close attention the next time I was preparing to leave for vacation. Suddenly I was accomplishing so much more. Instead of the one week's kids church lesson that I had to write, I was able to write 3 weeks lessons (one for that week, and 2 for the 2 weeks that I would be gone). I was able to communicate with my entire leadership team and let them know what their responsibilities would be while I was away, and I was able to accomplish about 3 weeks worth of work in that 1 week. So, what can we learn from this: That we should go on vacation every month :) Not really. We can learn that when we have to, we can work much more effectively and efficiently when we have to, so why not work that way all of the time?

I read a book by Andy Stanley called Choosing to Cheat about 3 years ago that radically changed my thoughts about the "ministry". I would highly recommend it to every new minister, and every veteran minister as well. In it, Stanley talks about the tensions between work and family. Reading his book made me realize that there is only one man in this world who my babies will call Daddy, there is only one man who my wife will call husband, and no one else can handle those responsibilities for me.

I have to find ways to "Cheat" at the office (read the book, it certainly isn't what it sounds like initially) so that my wife and kids will never feel cheated. A slight disclaimer here would be that there are "seasons" of ministry which will require me to "cheat" at home a bit because of what is going on at church. If I have done my job at home prior to the seasons, then they will be only that, seasons, and not catastrophes.

10 Things-Aim at Nothing

I have learned that in ministry and in life it is very important to have a target that you are aiming at. I have a hard time just floating along in life. I am the type of person who really enjoys accomplishing things. If you have read Marcus Buckingham's book Now, Discover Your Strengths you will understand what I mean when I say that I am an "Activator". I don't really enjoy sitting in long meaningless meetings that I feel are wasting valuable time. I am really the kind of guy who sees what needs to be done and decides to go do it. Sometimes however, this has gotten me in to a little bit of trouble.

You see, you have to have a target (a goal). If you don't know where you are supposed to end up, how will you know when you have arrived there? Ministry and life are both this way. I can have a great event from an "outsiders" perspective, but how do I know if has truly been a great event if I don't know what that event was supposed to accomplish?

Let me give an example: Each year, like most churches in America, we do a Fall Festival. There are many different names and ways of doing this event, but for the most part, they are all held in the Fall and involve both candy and games. Our's is usually held the Sunday before halloween (mainly because there is a major mark up on the inflatable equipment we rent if we use it on halloween). When I first came to Hope, I had to make the decision on the validity and necessity of doing the Fall Festival. I wanted to make sure that I was not just adding an event because "this is what we have always done" (I value tradition, but I don't see the validity of spending an enormous amount of money on something just because we have always done it and little timmy will be very upset if he doesn't get his free candy from the church this year).

We decided that our Fall Festival would be an outreach event to the community where we did not "shove" the gospel at them as much as we provided them a "safe and relaxed" opportunity to come on our campus and experience the LOVE of God. We also wanted our children's ministry and church to have the opportunity to SERVE the community around us.

This is our target, without having a clear target, we would just be throwing a big party every year with no real purpose. Parties are great, but I don't think they are a great way to spend the "kingdom resources" of both time and money!

Always have a target that you are aiming at, because when you don't, you will never truly know what you have accomplished.

TEAM

What does it really mean to YOU? Sometimes I hear people use that word and say things like: "We have such a great TEAM?" I hear them say that, and then I hear crazy stuff like, "we will not clean up after him any more" or "I am sure that HE DOES" in a very sarcastic tone. So, what does team really mean? I guess I am confused.

10 Things I've Learned-Never Do Ministry Alone

I have learned a ton of things, but this one I learned very early on. Never Do Ministry Alone. This one is kind of stolen from Jim Wideman, he is a great leader and has an incredible teaching called the club, check him out here He has several great resources for kids pastors and leaders.

I think the theory behind never do ministry alone is more about training others to do the work of the ministry than it is about having help with what you are doing. There are times when I am doing ministry that would be valuable for others to learn. For instance, why go to a hospital visit alone when I can take one of my volunteers with me. Why build a set for kids ministry alone, if I can bring in a few people to do it with me. With both of these examples, the time I get to spend with them is as valuable to me as the amount of help they provide me. Many times, those moments of working side by side with someone provide opportunities for me to speak into their life. It is great when God opens those doors, and it only happens because I do my best to "Never do Ministry Alone."